General Thoughts

If I Had It To Do Over Again…

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I am thinking just a little bit this evening about who I am and especially where I grew up. If I had it to do over again, by that I mean the coming out process, would it be easier or hard for me?

That is definitely a tough question to answer. In some ways yes, in a lot of way no. If I looked at it from the frame of mind of the place I grew up in, I think it wouldn’t be as easy. Knowing the conservative nature of a place like Lee County, Virginia, I don’t think it’s gotten any better now. Trust me, I’ve heard enough from the few people I speak to that still live there.

To put it simply, I wouldn’t have done it any differently then or now. I am who I am for very good reason and things happened the way they happened because they were meant to.

Why do I find myself feeling like this in the first place? Because I am scared for any gay, bi, trans or whatever youths that may be growing up there. I yearn for them to have it easier than I and others did… because an environment such as that can be very hazardous to their fiber and being. I know, that’s not a good thought to think but it’s an unfortunate reality of the current climate that this country is in.

Progress has to keep going forward in the face of all adversity. It just has to. We have to make it have to.

Life As a Football Supporter

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It’s not easy being a supporter of a football club sometimes. I really could blog about a lot of experiences in my life, especially in this piece of shit season that has been 2025 for Atlanta United.

Forget the face that as of this writing, we are about a day away from playing for the dreaded Wooden Spoon.

The one and only thing I want to document here is a simple word: PERSEVERANCE.

Why have I stuck around where a lot of fans have bailed? PERSEVERANCE.

Why do I bother with this silly game in an even sillier league? PERSEVERANCE.

Should I be doing other things? Probably, but my PERSEVERANCE makes me believe that not all days will be like this one. That could definitely be said about a lot of other things in my life right now, and if I have anything to show for the success I have had in my life, it’s definitely because of PERSEVERANCE. It has always held true and will continue to hold true in the future. I cannot debate that for one second.

In the end, your PERSEVERANCE, mine and yours, will win out.

Be kind to each other and keep going. The world needs you in it.

My Health

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I have been trying a lot in recent years to keep my health in check as much as I can. I have been seeing a doctor regularly and have been taking medications to stop the onslaught of health problems being a man of size can bring.

How am I doing? OK I guess.

In case the reader didn’t know, I have been battling Irritable Bowel Syndrome for a few years. That and crippling anxiety at times is not a good combination.

I have my days. Usually when the weather is cloudy my mood tends to go down into a bad area and I struggle. I am not ashamed to admit this. Y’all know I always tend to wear my heart on my sleeve. It helps me and it hurts me.

I think one of my strong suits is that I have a good sense of empathy. For example: this week at work a very close friend had a relative pass away while he was on shift. He got a call about it and pulled me aside because he knew that he could count on me. I was there for him just as he had been there for me when I was going through tougher times myself.

That is the beautiful thing of something that is beyond friendship and almost (but not quite) family. There is some kind of indescribable bond there that is unique and one-of-a-kind.

Does any of that make sense? Well, it does to me.

And there is why your emotional health is just as important as your physical health.

Thoughts in Type 1/27/2024

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Today, rather than type out a whole separate blog post… maybe I should just share a page out of my personal journal that I type on my Smith Corona vintage typewriter.

So, here it goes:


A typed page from Nick's Journal on January 27, 2024

There.

Do you like seeing these? Is anyone actually reading this? Let me know.

TTFN.

Is This Even a Thing?

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Well.

In the last while since I have neglected this blog a lot has changed in my life.

I got promoted in my job, my title is now Operations Engineer. I still deal in information, information and information from all sources imaginable. However, on top of that, I am now learning lots of technical back-end stuff. I have learned a lot since I accepted this position in July 2023. I still have a lot more to learn every day.

I have confidence I will be ok, but I naturally second guess myself a lot of times. Any human being would. I am proud of myself for what I have accomplished.

This still doesn’t hide the fact however that the odds are against me and my colleagues equipment-wise. We will have to do the best we can in the long haul. We’ll make it. Just. Be. Resilient.

Eight Years Married

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This year will mark our eighth wedding anniversary.

Where does the time go?

It seems like just yesterday we were rushing to our wedding on a pleasant spring morning in New York City. Getting on the wrong subway train and all that. The story is well documented on the ‘Tube.

As each year passes, I can’t help but be amazed at how lucky I am to have the greatest husband in the world. A husband who puts up with a lot from me day after day. That’s love.

I hope that if you read this that you find your true love. Everyone deserves it, even if you don’t think you do.

Everybody say love!

March 2023 Update

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Just a quick post to make it seem like this blog isn’t dormant.

49 Days. That’s how long we were in this nightmare. Technically it still isn’t done, there is one small piece of missing tile in the kitchen.

We haven’t even paid the remaining balance for the work. Not because of us, because the final figures haven’t even been given to us yet!

What an ordeal this has been.

Excuse me, I am hangry and must go have some pizza.

TTFN.

Survive the World – 2022 Holidays Edition

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I just wanted to get this in a form I can look back on. Getting jolting news that there is a flood happening in your home whilst you are 4.5 hours away with family on Christmas Eve is not how one envisions a holiday to go.

To have to cut a trip short and rush home to assess damage is not ideal, but yet, somehow, I think in a way that with everything that has happened in the last 5 days, surprisingly, I am OK. This is weird. Usually I would be in more of a panic.

Sure I have been emotional at times, mostly when we finally returned home at 4am on Christmas Morning to survey the damage that was done. Anyone would be emotional at that particular time when they see their home in a state of damage.

We were so lucky that all of our personal items and such survived intact. The most important member of our family, our cat Pumpkin, was our chief concern. He has been doing OK. We worry now whether or not he has a cold or something else going on from breathing all the contaminated air. We’ll be keeping an eye on him in the coming days.

This last statement is going to sound rather obvious from someone who hasn’t updated this blog as often as he should… but I need to update this thing more with my thoughts, especially given the current state of things for the next month.

Dystopia Here We Come

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What else can I say on this insignificant blog that hasn’t already been said elsewhere?

I don’t need to link to anything here because you definitely know what has been going on in the last 30 hours before this post.

The clock is racing backwards in America (can we even call it America anymore?)

I personally am frightened. Literally. I. Am. Frightened.

You know what I am not going to let this do? Kill my hope. Hope that we can still turn this wayward ship around. There has to be something better on the horizon, right? Even though the waters look mighty dark now, hope has to be there.

Have I given you enough nautical references for one blog post? Yeah, we’re good.

Hang in there, reader. We’ll get through this together. We have got to keep believing that.

Thoughts on Paper

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Is precise typing a lost art? Maybe it was never an art to begin with unless you were a secretary.

Maybe we just take typos for granted and have gotten so used to the convenience of computers and the ability to use the backspace key to correct mistakes.

There is a beauty in using a typewriter however that I have always felt a comfort in. A few years ago, Greg found an electric typewriter from around the late 1980s/early 1990s and asked if I wanted it. I took him up on the offer. We then saw a manual typewriter from around the late 1950s/early 1960s and got that one too. That was a pain to use, but I decided to start using it for a personal, typed journal. I ended up getting more often than not annoyed with how often the strikers would jam up with each other when typing too fast. Or that I would have to smack the keys hard to get results (which was a common complain of typewriters of that era.)

We ended up selling both of them well before we moved to Atlanta.

Fast forward to last weekend. Greg sees this beauty in a store:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

That is a Smith Corona Electra 210. I’m guessing it’s from the mid-to-late 1960s, maybe early 1970s. It’s hard to date because Smith Corona is notorious for not putting date tags on any of their products. The only thing we needed to get for it was the ribbon, which fortunately is easily found.

It works great! I have resumed my typed journal after almost 5 years. I am going to make something of this.

In case you are wondering, a typed journal might look like this:

There is more to the entry than that, I’m not going to show you everything.

Now you may be asking yourself: why in the world am I not just typing in this blog instead of doing this? That’s a good question.

A lot of stuff I want to put down on paper is really not fit for the darkest recesses of the interwebs. I don’t want anything salty that I way write to really come back and get me when I least expect it. The internet has more ears than a field of corn and once you put it out there, you’re never going to get it back.

And, by the way, White-Out correcting tape that is instantly dry really helps when you commit mistakes.