Dread

With all of the stuff that is happening in life that I have to be enthusiastic about there is always a flip side. It is an inane sense of dread.

Dread for the hopelessness that we as a country are never going to get out of this shit show that we have been in for the last four years.

Dread that it won’t get better.

Dread that we are not going to have the freedoms anymore that we have had for the last two plus centuries.

Dread.

It’s a powerful emotion that consumes me.

A Minor/Major Change

So I decided that I should make what to some might be a minor change. To others, it might be considered a major change. It by no means is legal yet, that will happen in 2021. But I feel it’s long overdue that I exercise my right to take my husband’s last name.

It’s minor and major to me all at the same time. I won’t go on record as to the specific reasons why I am doing this. I just feel it is the right thing to do.

So, there. It is partially done. At least in the court of social media and this website… whatever the hell that counts for.

Oh, and by the way, lots of exciting stuff is already happening. Details to come soon.

TTFN.

Hi Blog? Why Are You Here?

Maybe this is PJTP. But I wonder why I even need a blog? I mean, with social media being the shit show that it is where if you post an opinion you either get instantly praised or justly vilified. I wonder about the popularity of this very remote corner of the vast internet.

That’s all. Maybe this would have worked better as a Google Plus post. (Oh, right, that’s not a thing anymore.)

Carry on.

RIP Blogging

TQON (The Quarantine of Nick)

Well blog, this is an entry that will go down in history. I guess this entry is just to look back on (if we survive this) and go, “Oh, gee, I remember that…”

If you read that paragraph in Summer 2020 or before that… I apologize for the crassness of that remark given the current situation in the world.

Me and Greg have been doing self-quarantine more or less for almost two weeks as of March 25th, 2020. We only have been out once or twice, practiced social distancing, only to get essential items. Greg has been working from home for over three weeks (the first week was due to an internet outage in his office, which just rolled right into all of this.)

I however have a job that cannot be done remotely so I still have to drive in. However, my employer very smartly has taken a lot of countermeasures in the building to keep my department, which is always separated and tightly locked down anyway, safe from other individuals in our workplace. Most of everyone who can work from home has been for over two weeks now.

You know, I won’t lie, it has been intriguing to me to look on social media and see a lot of friends and acquaintances doing really well and doing what they should. We haven’t posted a lot ourselves (we really should). But we need to do better with that. For example:

I think we need to do a YouTube video about all of this in the next day or so. Visibility is important, especially now.

Trust me, we’re gonna get through all of this together. Remember to trust accurate information from anyone but the orange cheeto and his cronies.

TTFN.

My First Year in the ATL

One year ago, I moved from a mediocre metro area to a very prominent one. Most people would have looked at me and said, “What, are you crazy?” Nope. I knew exactly what I was doing.

Am I glad I did it? Of course! While I wish what happened in the first few months had went down differently (not a surprise to the reader) it’s all better now.

Do I have any regrets? Not a one. I mean, look at all the positive things that have happened in this last year. I have made some great friends over this year, too many to name. I am still making friends and hope to make lots more going forward.

I have also been witness to memories that I will treasure all of my days. My favorite team, Atlanta United, won the MLS Cup in 2018 capping a spectacular season. I am glad that I got to be there in person. I also saw some great moments in the 2019 season as well. While the 2019 season didn’t end how we wanted it to they still had a great season.

I also marched in the Atlanta Pride parade with Greg. That was an experience I will never forget and plan to do again next year!

What do I have to look forward to in the next year? Everything! The future is a very bright one for me and for Greg as well. I am in a great place right now and I finally feel confident that we are headed in the right direction. My only desire for the immediate future is to save up enough money to travel again. I am confident that will come in due time.

Oh, by the way, did I mention I am turning 40 years old next week? Eh, it’s nothing. Age is just a number.

I’m Okay!

I neglect this blog way too much.

Since that last entry in which I couldn’t seem to get a handle on my feelings, which was OK, I have found my confidence again. I think it’s safe to say that life is never 100% easy. We all have our ups and downs.

I think I can feel very fortunate that I have an awesome support system. Not only do I have the most wonderful husband in the world, but some of the greatest friends as well. You know who you are.

I think it’s safe to say in the last three months that life has slowly but surely gotten back to normal. Everything seems to have a regularity to it now. We can plan on things happening as they should now. I dare say we are pretty much back to the way things were.

So… where do I go from here? Well, the sky’s the limit now!

What is Wrong With Me?

For all intents and purposes… I should be happy. More than that, I should be jumping up and down from the mountain tops to the valleys of the North Georgia landscape. Greg finally has a gig in Atlanta starting in July. I am doing well in my current job. There shouldn’t be any reason that I should feel uneasy. Yet I am.

Human emotions are a very funny thing. Just when you think that you are getting ahead and feeling good there are things in life that can hold you back… even just a little bit but just enough to register on your psyche.

Just to get the reader of this article up to speed: twice in the last week I should have felt elated…

You will forgive me if I feel like that I am faking it for the camera. I may just be down in the dumps when I type this but that’s how I feel at the current moment.

I don’t know where my soul is. I wish I could elaborate further but there are some details that are just not fit for this blog because they could be deemed too personal or too sensitive for the internet to know about. Keep in mind kids, the internet never forgets even if you hit the delete button. It will find a way to come back and haunt you when you lease expect it.

I will find a way to be positive. I have to. I will.

A Love Letter To My Husband

It has been a long time since our paths first crossed. 14 years, as a matter of fact. Can you really believe that is has been that long? Where has all the time gone? It seems like it was only yesterday that we were spending practically every moment out of our college classes together, goofing off, watching old TV shows, meandering about in the middle of nowhere. Enjoying each other and making great memories. Falling in love. I will never forget that first kiss in the middle of a shut down interstate highway. That’s a story for the ages.

I know we have been apart a lot lately. While it has been tough for both of us to love from afar, I still feel your presence by my side every day. When I am having frustrations, I know you are there. You keep me going, you keep me striving to do better, to work harder, to do more.

I know that I am there with you as well. Pushing you to keep going, to do the same. I know how much you have been trying to achieve what you want. I know that someone will see the great potential that you have and give you an opportunity. I believe in you so much that the size of that confidence stretches beyond the limits of this galaxy, and then some.

I could go on forever, but I know how to always sum up our love. It all comes back to our song. We will dance to this song someday. How about on April 17th, 2025?

Nick and Greg’s Song

I love you, Greg Brobeck.

It’s Gonna Be May

As we approach Summer 2018, we are headed into interesting times in our lives. As I have said before, we have great plans and career goals this year. We shall see how it plays out over the next four or five months.

As one approaches this, however, you constantly are looking back on what you have achieved. I would say that in the last seven and a half years in my current position, I have achieved a lot. It’s too much to go into detail here, but suffice it to say that I am proud of myself. I have grown a lot in my area of expertise.

I am extremely proud of Greg. He is the best. I love him so much and I can’t say enough how proud I am to have him as my husband. He holds me up and keeps me going. Without him, I don’t know where I would be.

This is turning into a sappy post.

I’ll end it on a profound and high note then.

Go Atlanta United!

Luck of the Irish

On this St. Patrick’s Day 2018, I wish to document here what I am truly lucky to have.

I am truly lucky to have a great husband who is not only patient with me, but is fun to be around… even after 13 wonderful years.

I am truly lucky to have a great job that I enjoy going to every day.

I am truly lucky to have great friends, both in person and around the world via social media and our YouTube channel.

Most of all, I am truly lucky to have my life itself, which I never take for granted and am always looking to improve. Who knows where that life will be by the end of 2018. I certainly hope that we will have a new and exciting place to call home by the end of this year. Mark my words. We shall see.

Thanks to everyone reading this out there for being such great and awesome people! You rock!